I don’t know of anyone who is delighted by the second lock down.  Perhaps they are out there but most of us are heartily sick of being restricted.  My heart sank when I heard the news. I briefly regressed to my childhood self and there was swearing and foot stomping.  Kind of satisfying in the short term but not a coping strategy I would choose to continue for 6 weeks!  Don’t get me wrong, I understand the necessity of the second lock down and believe we are doing our best.  Nonetheless, you too may be feeling frustrated, anxious and demoralised at the prospect of having your freedom curtailed…again.

After a week of reflecting, some sulking, and talking I regrouped.  I decided since I couldn’t change lock down I would have to change my response to it.  The first step in any change of perspective is to acknowledge uncomfortable feelings.  If I’d skipped too soon to re-framing without acknowledging the underlying feelings, the new way of thinking wouldn’t work.  So I acknowledged my frustration and exasperation as valid.  I then asked some key questions to open my mind.  The value of great questions cannot be underestimated.  A question we haven’t previously thought of opens up new ways of thinking and feeling.  New ways of thinking and feeling, in turn, alters our reality.  (That’s a hint of quantum physics for you.  If that’s your thing I suggest you watch, What the Bleep do we know?)

Here’s 4 empowering questions to ask yourself, to transform your lock down experience:

1. What did I learn from the first lockdown that I can do differently this time around?

Perhaps you put up with a temporary set up for work or home schooling.  Maybe you subverted your own need for privacy and solitude thinking that it’s only for a few weeks.  Perhaps you don’t like technology so didn’t jump on board with the video tech that would enable you to connect with loved ones.  Whatever you come up with, make a commitment to put in place the necessary requirements to do it differently this time around.

2. What do I need to stop or reduce for a better outcome?

Some of us utilized coping strategies that are fine for a short period of time but can be damaging when continued for longer periods.  For example, alcohol sales went through the roof during the first lockdown and flour and bananas practically walked off supermarket shelves.  If you are drunk most nights of the week or are beginning to look like a banana cake you might want to consider what you could replace.  This is not an exercise in beating yourself up or extreme self-denial.  Just small changes over time make a difference.  Could you have a couple of dry days or go for a walk instead of reaching for something in the pantry?

3. What is within my power to change in the current situation?

You might not be able to change the fact that your home has indeed now become your castle but you may be able to change how you experience it.  Can you move around your rooms/furniture/house mates?  Perhaps you can take it in turns to go for essential supplies so that someone is left with space for themselves?  Can you ask for what you need – more interaction, less interaction, a different distribution of chores/resources?  If you don’t like wearing a mask, perhaps now is the time to take up running!

4. Which new things can I try to get more fun and variety back into life?

With travel, dining out, team sports and the arts off the agenda for a while what can you try that you haven’t before?  How do you get back some fun and variety into your life?  Friends recently suggested a zoom afternoon tea catch up complete with a delivery of afternoon tea!  Could you do something similar for a loved one?  If you can’t see grandkids, send them a care package.  If you are missing out on a concert, host a dance party online.  Do some of that study you’ve been putting off or learn a new instrument or skill.  I’m attending a virtual Nick Cave concert this week and can’t wait!  Opening yourself up new options is empowering and a mood booster.

Remember small changes can make a big difference!