In today’s fast-paced world, we often find ourselves in a tug-of-war between taking care of ourselves and giving in to habits that undermine our well-being. The tricky part is that self-sabotage can be sneaky—it sometimes disguises itself as comfort, laziness, or even indulgence. So, how can you know if you’re practicing true self-care or unintentionally sabotaging yourself?

Let’s break it down using six key pillars of self-care to help you reflect and make choices that genuinely support your well-being.

 

1. Be Honest with Yourself

Self-care starts with honesty. Ask yourself: Are my habits nourishing or harming me? Sometimes, we justify unhealthy behavior in the name of relaxation or “me time.” But true self-care requires acknowledging when your actions are pulling you away from growth or health. Being honest means recognizing when Netflix marathons are an escape rather than a genuine recharge. It means admitting when you’ve overcommitted instead of being proactive about balance.

 

2. Don’t Wait Until You Feel Like Doing It

Self-care isn’t always glamorous or easy. Often, it’s about discipline and consistency. Waiting for the perfect moment or the right mood to take action is often a form of self-sabotage. Whether it’s working out, eating healthier, or tackling stress, remind yourself: You don’t have to feel like doing something to do it. Take the first step, and often the motivation will follow. Think of it as investing in your future self.

 

3. Small, Achievable Steps Are the Key

One of the most common ways people sabotage themselves is by setting unrealistic goals. Self-care is about progress, not perfection. You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight to see results. Focus on small, achievable steps that are sustainable in the long run. For example, if you’re trying to improve your diet, start by adding more veggies to your meals rather than committing to an all-or-nothing diet plan. This way, you avoid burnout and build lasting habits.

 

4. Make an Appointment in Your Diary and Honour It

You wouldn’t skip a meeting with your boss or neglect a dentist appointment, so why are we so quick to cancel on ourselves? Self-care requires commitment. Schedule your self-care practices—whether it’s time for exercise, meditation, or relaxation—just like you would any other appointment. Honouring these appointments sends a powerful message to yourself: your well-being matters. Skipping them too often can easily turn into a form of self-sabotage.

 

5. Put Supports in Place

Self-care doesn’t have to be a solo effort. In fact, having systems of support can be one of the best ways to ensure success. Whether it’s a friend holding you accountable for morning walks or a therapist helping you navigate emotional challenges, put supports in place that help you stay on track. Isolation can make self-sabotage easier; community and structure can make self-care more sustainable.

 

6. Ensure Your Self-Talk is Kind

Your inner voice has a significant impact on your actions and how you feel about yourself. Self-talk can either build you up or tear you down. Practicing self-care involves managing that inner dialogue and transforming negative thoughts into constructive ones. Instead of being overly critical, try adopting a compassionate and encouraging tone with yourself. Ask: “Am I speaking to myself the way I would to a friend?” Shifting your self-talk helps foster a mindset that supports your well-being rather than undermining it.

Self-care and self-sabotage often live on a spectrum, and the line between them can blur when we’re not paying attention. But by being honest, taking small steps, sticking to your commitments, and building a support system, you can move towards a more intentional practice of caring for yourself.

So, next time you’re tempted to skip that workout or cancel your relaxation time, ask yourself: Am I practicing self-care, or am I sabotaging myself?