In order to know if what you are experiencing is real love you must first be clear on what love is. Love is one of the most enjoyable emotions human beings can feel. The physical experience of love is often an open, warm, soothing, expansive feeling of connection and wellbeing experienced in the region of the heart. Sometimes love is a quiet sense of contentment and peace, other times it feels like a burst of affection threatening to cleave the heart in two. Some describe it as coming home. Any way you experience it, love is always safe and connected.

Feelings of love naturally give rise to actions which convey love. Love forms a wellspring of happiness and is the basis from which our potential may grow. Love provides a space of care and attention which prioritizes support and encouragement. When we feel loved, we are encouraged to act from the best parts of ourselves more easily. We feel content with ourselves and what we can offer to the world. We are more accepting of ourselves and others and more considerate in our interactions. We act in ways which are connected and humane.

As feelings of real love give rise to actions which express this love, here are our top 10 signs of real love:

1. You feel loved and accepted for all that you are. Not just the bits you like. The messy bits too. All of you.
2. You are regularly listened to, with full attention and presence.
3. Your feelings are treated with respect – no matter what those feelings are.
4. You are looked at with genuine love and affection.
5. You are spoken about with pride and admiration.
6. You feel supported and held – safe to try, to fail, to succeed.
7. You are held accountable with kindness when you are out of line.
8. Your needs, desires, fears, hopes and dreams are understood and honoured.
9. You feel safe and secure even when experiencing conflict – no aggression, nastiness, or name calling.
10. You are encouraged and supported to be authentically you – to be all you can be.

Perhaps you have created love in your life that ticks all 10 boxes. If this is the case, keep doing what you’re doing to invest in that love. It will continue to grow and deepen over time. If not, know that this is possible and seek to learn the skills to address any gaps. Working towards more love in your life is a worthwhile endeavour which will improve the quality of your life immeasurably.